In the Bible, David made the decision to seek God and rebuild his life after his son died (2 Samuel 12). Dr. Norman Peart comments on David’s decision: “David could not waste the rest of his life focusing upon the wrong, the hurt that was there. He instead had to build upon that life because at some point he was going to see the God he was aiming for.”
The time has come to rebuild your life.
They will rebuild the ruined cities and live in them. They will plant vineyards and drink their wine; they will make gardens and eat their fruit. — Amos 9:14
Four and a half years after my wife died.
My wife taught me to love. It’s a simple word that has a vast meaning. Love can mean compassion, uncensored and true, living in the moment. Love can be unconditional and unprotected and vulnerable, which is a scary place to be, a place most of us choose not to be. My wife taught me it is this place of love that holds the meaning of life for us. The reason we’re put here is to receive those precious gifts of love from the Lord and to surpass our own boundaries and give love.
Give ear to my words, O LORD, Consider my groaning. — Psalm 5:1 NASB
Lord, I need to do this. Each day I need to write down whatever comes to my mind, whatever I am thinking about or feeling. I release these thoughts to You. Help me to grow and to love. Amen.
Share with a Friend
Pray for God to bring you a friend you can talk with about your loss. Let your friend know what you need from him or her. You might prefer writing your friend a letter that expresses your feelings, your needs, and your thankfulness for the friendship.
I had a close friend who helped me through my grief: “She was just a friend I could call and talk to and know that she understood; that was the main thing, just having some- body to listen to me.”
Never underestimate the comforting power of friendship.
You have comforted me by speaking so kindly to me. — Ruth 2:13 NLT
Provider God, I pray that I keep up my friendships with those who are true to me, even when I don’t feel like making the effort. Amen.
Grief Support Group
I encourage you to join a biblically based grief recovery support group to aid in your healing. It does not matter how long ago your loss occurred; grief support groups are for people at all stages of the grieving process.
“It’s in the sharing and the group’s caring for each other that the healing is accomplished,” says Dr. Jim Conway.
Healing is a mending together for the purpose of making some- thing whole again. Your heart, mind, and body can become whole and in excellent working condition again through Jesus. But healing does not mean there will be no scars. It means that you were once broken, but through time and effort you are being made whole again.
He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds. — Psalm 147:3
Jesus, it’s hard to imagine I will ever be healed. Help me to remember that healing is not forgetting, but it is remembering with love and tenderness and joy. Amen.
Maintain Humour
Barbara Johnson says it is good to keep your sense of humour during this time of grief; in fact, keeping a sense of humour is one of the healthiest things you can do: “Oh, I think that’s very important. You see, one laugh equals three spoons of oat bran. And one laugh will burn six calories. And one laugh is like jogging on the inside. I think God intended for us to laugh.
Job 8:21 says,
He will fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.
So laughter is very important. Many people don’t have a sense of humour, and they suffer longer and harder than those who can let a little laugh bubble out.”
Lord of all, bring something humorous in my path today. Teach me to relax inside and let “a little laugh bubble out.” Amen.
Enjoy God’s Creation
Open your eyes today to the gift of God’s creation. Make a point to look up and notice and savour what you see.
The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world. — Psalm 19:1-4
The beauty of creation is crying out daily for you to see and to worship the Creator in response. Live life on a different level today — a higher level.
Elisabeth Elliot says, “It’s our human nature to fret and stew and try everything in the world to satisfy ourselves, but that is never going to be the answer. I myself have found tremendous comfort and joy in observing God’s creation.”
Creator God, what treasures and beauties do You have in store for me today? What new wonder is just waiting to be seen? Amen.
Directing Your Thoughts
Memories can be a blessing, but they can also have the opposite effect. When you remember your loved one, what dominates your thoughts — good, wholesome, loving memories? Or things you would rather not remember at all?
“Scripture tells you to direct your focus and attention to those things that are pure, right, and true,” says Jim Grassi. “It doesn’t say focus your attention, all your anxiety, and all your worry on all the things that are bad.”
With God’s help, turn your thoughts around. This may be a daily, moment-by-moment battle if negative thinking has been a pattern for you.
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. — 2 Corinthians 10:5
Lord, I am prepared to take my negative thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ — beginning now! Amen.
Excerpted from Through a Season of Grief by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard, copyright The Church Initiative, Inc.
