When discussing a topic such as this, there are some advices in the scriptures that deal with it, but for me the most apt is in James 1 verses 19-20:
“My dear brothers and sisters take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”
Bearing this in mind, dealing with anger issues requires help from appropriate quarters.
Psalm 40 v 17
But as for me, I am poor and needy;
may the Lord think of me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
you are my God, do not delay.
The scriptures are also a source of the help we need, in dealing with anger issues, offering us practical tips for managing our emotions and behaviours that result in that major, sometimes unbridled emotion called anger. In Ephesians chapter 4 verses 26-31, Paul discusses these;
“In your anger do not sin”[d]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. 28 Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Anger has a price tag. When you realize that truth, you’re more likely to control the anger in your life. The Bible tells us, “A hot-tempered man … gets into all kinds of trouble” (Proverbs 29:22 TLB). Most of us have seen someone do something really stupid because that person was angry. The Bible is very specific on the cost of anger. The Bible says:
- It causes arguments (Proverbs 15:18; A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict,
but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.), which can arise because of our losing control of our mouth or tongue, making us say harsh things, Proverbs 15 verse 1; A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger. - It causes mistakes (Proverbs 14:29;” Whoever is patient has great understanding,
but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.”). - It causes foolish things (Proverbs 14:17; A quick-tempered person does foolish things,
and the one who devises evil schemes is hated.).
Foolish things can be done by the wise as well as fools, but at the end of the day, the truly wise ones are distinguished, by what, Proverbs 29 verse 11 tells us; Fools give full vent to their rage,
but the wise bring calm in the end.
Calm or patience in the face of provocation, or suffering, or trials or persecution is a special, or difficult, maybe divine attribute, but that is what the scriptures advocate in Proverbs 19 verse 11; A person’s wisdom yields patience;
it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.
We are constantly being moulded by life and experiences, and one quality that we should possess is perseverance in the face of provocation, adversity or persecution. As stated in Ecclesiastes 7 verse 9; Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit,
for anger resides in the lap of fools.
You’ve probably seen all of these results from your own anger and the anger of others. The Bible is also clear on the ultimate conclusion of our inappropriately expressed anger. Proverbs 11:29 says, “The fool who provokes his family to anger and resentment will finally have nothing worthwhile left.” Think of the impact anger has on your family. As parents, we’re often tempted to use anger to motivate our children. It works in the short-term. When you get angry, you put the fear of God (or the fear of you) into your children. Your kids may give you short-term obedience, but you’ll lose in the long-term. The end result of misplaced anger is alienation. The advice in Proverbs 22 v 24 in dealing with people with anger issues, is; “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person,
do not associate with one easily angered,”. You alienate the very people you love the most. Eventually, you’ll get more anger back and finally just apathy. No one wants to be around you. The truth is, you always lose when you lose your temper. You may lose your reputation, your job, your children, or the love of your husband or wife when you don’t control your anger. And we might be tempted to think that so what, I have anger issues now and then, its no big deal, it is a big deal, because things and people get destroyed as a result of anger, our Lord Jesus Christ put it into perspective for us by levelling anger with murder on the scales of sin, in Matthew 5 v 22; But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister[b][c] will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’[d] is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. And it’s never worth that price tag. We have to learn to control or rid ourselves of certain character attributes as advised in Colossians 3 verse 8; But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. The Bible goes on further in Psalm 37 verses 8-9 “Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret—it leads only to evil.
9 For those who are evil will be destroyed,
but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.”
- What are some examples of people you’ve seen become alienated from others because of their anger?
- If you’ve sometimes exhibited misplaced anger, what were the costs in your life?
- What is a practical way you can deal with your anger so that it does not cause pain for you or the people around you?
